Redemption: the story of an ex convict.

Discussion in 'Universe' started by Zuriel, Apr 26, 2012.

  1. Zuriel

    Zuriel Well-Known Member

    "Your honour, my client thus, pleads guilty to three counts of involuntary manslaughter, a revision from the earlier charges of premediated murder of one Joseph Song, one Dominic Stunt and one Gregory Taros." said the lawyer.

    "Court is adjourned while the jury decide on the final verdict." the judge remarked.

    A few hours later...

    "Court in session. What does the jury have to say?"

    "Your honour, we find the defendant not guilty of first degree murder, but guilty of involuntary manslaughter of the three men, one Joseph Song, one Dominic Stunt and one Gregory Taros." the jury spokesman said.

    "I hereby sentence you, Daniel Stiggson, to 5 years in the Arkenia state prison, with a chance for a one-third remission. I have also arranged for psychiatric evaluation and care for you, you will not be given any access to flammable material. Court dismissed!"

    And thus began the life of Daniel Stiggson, a life of incarceration.

    P.S. This is my first time writing in a very long time, let me know how I cam improve. :) all feedback appreciated.
  2. Ryan III

    Ryan III Well-Known Member

    Sounds nice so far, I'm assuming this story is about a pryo?
  3. Zuriel

    Zuriel Well-Known Member

    That is correct.
  4. ArcturusV

    ArcturusV New Member

    Part of me, the admittedly nerdy part, almost wishes he was named Ken Masters instead. :p

    Kinda surprised there isn't an Arson charge mentioned since the sentencing included fire based restrictions.
  5. Zuriel

    Zuriel Well-Known Member

    Arson is for fire damage to property I think. This, wasn't as straightforward
  6. Ryan III

    Ryan III Well-Known Member

    Just a reminder to finish this I can't wait
  7. Zuriel

    Zuriel Well-Known Member

    Chapter 2

    Hi there.

    My name is Daniel.

    Just your average 24 year old, with a couple of addictions. Like the Virtual Simulator (3rd Gen) -VS3 for short, games, not unlike the 'console' or 'PC' games of the ancient days. Humanity has progressed much in the realm of virtual escapism. For one, we can fire real firearms onto our VS3's and they won't be damaged. Of course, the right holographic discs must be loaded in before this would work. But holy shit. According to my granddad, people used to play shooter games with infra-red 'guns' Pssh. I remember going all "you gotta be kidding me" on him. But anyway, back to my point. The new VS3 has this Nylar fabric that stops all projectiles from small arms without damaging the screen. It helps that the Nylar is almost transparent so your view of the graphics isn't tinted in anyway. And Nylar repairs itself with the latest Nano-weave technology. Really cutting edge science I heard. I dare not explain how it works, for fear of embarrassing myself.

    Did I mention? I used to be addicted to playing with fire.

    I don't know.. There's something primal about setting up a fire. I would make use of any chance I had to start a fire. Burning incense to the old gods, disposing of sensitive information like our credit RFIDs bills, anything and everything, really. I used to burn papers just for kicks, and experiment with other materials even. I found that soaking a gummybear overnight in vodka can make an interesting spectacle. It works like an improvised incendiary pellet, sticks on the target and spreads fire to it. Lovely stuff.

    Really, I'm like your typical 24 year old. We all have our vices, our dark sides, our secrets. Except I was convicted of involuntary manslaughter of three men.

    Rewind 6 years.

    Freshly graduated from Pre-university, and awaiting enlistment into the marine corps, (yes I was chosen to be enlisted, it wasn't my choice, really.) life was going good. I found a girl that I could relate to, after 12 years of formal education, countless rejections and I even had someone calling me an ugly toad. (Well, fuck you very much.) I guess I was a late bloomer, because I've turned out pretty well, learnt to dress up and do up my hair, the ladies were finally paying attention to me. I loved every second of it.

    This girl, Carah, and I got along well. She wasn't the prettiest or smartest, she was just able to connect with me. This connection stemmed from a deeper mutual understanding between us, and we could even complete each others sentences. It was really wonderful to have someone like her around. I loved her. I really did. We spent a lot of time together, whilst I was in the Corps, and she, in college. We even went furniture shopping for the future, after I serve my time in the Corps and when I complete college. Things were looking up.

    But then, it happened.
  8. Zuriel

    Zuriel Well-Known Member

    Chapter 3

    It was during Basic Training, that I realised I had a problem.


    I was constantly berated for looking weak, looking tired in the day. And at night, I could never get a good night's rest. It was either the inability to fall asleep due to my thoughts racing at a hundred miles an hour, or that I didn't feel rested after 7 hours of 'uninterrupted rest'. I would wake at 3am, and find myself thinking about everything. The past, the present, the future. Somehow my racing thoughts linked up in a never-ending stream. I never got enough rest. Not one night in my entire basic training phase.

    It drove me insane.

    I snapped one day. I knew I had a problem, and I went to see a shrink. After some fancy terms were bandied around, I was finally labelled as having dysthymia. Or basically, chronic mild depression. My general sluggishness, apparent perpetual moodiness, stemmed from this condition I was told I had. For a while, it felt okay. I could blame all my inadequecies on this thing that I had. When I finally snapped out of my pity party, I found myself empathising with patients with mental disorders moreso than ever. I identified with them.

    I was one of them.

    Carah was there. She made it better. I was granted nocturnal leave of absence just to make my sleeping problems better. The doctors figured that I wasn't combat fit anyways, and this would alleviate some of the pressures of the military. I was almost discharged from service, but thankfully I was transferred to another department to contribute in another way. Logistics and combat support was my new home.

    During the day, I worked. Like a worker in a warehouse, except I dealt with cold metal that dished out death. Restricted and controlled equipment that could never be allowed to see the light of day, well, at least not in a civilian's hands. Meals, laundry, ammunition, water. I was in charge of those. It was a pretty huge responsibility there, given by my boss, but I relished every minute of it. I loved to be deployed out in the field. It made me miss home a lot, but Carah and I grew closer when this happened.

    Things between us were going well. After my first deployment, I spent a chunk of my paycheck on a bottle of expensive perfume for her. I loved her so much. She came to pick me up from the airport after I disembarked. We went to my place where we made out and exchanged gifts. She bought me an electronic alarm/iPod docking device. Just cause I was a sleepyhead.

    Silly girl.

    I gave her the carefully wrapped bottle of perfume and she kissed me on the cheek. She was an angel. She was my angel. I loved her with all my heart. But something was changing. We could feel it. Something was different.
  9. Ryan III

    Ryan III Well-Known Member

    Nice! Can't wait to read on
  10. Zuriel

    Zuriel Well-Known Member

    Going for camp, thanks for reading. I know I haven't been consistent in this, but bear with me. :) thanks!
  11. Ryan III

    Ryan III Well-Known Member

    I'm fine with waiting.
  12. Zuriel

    Zuriel Well-Known Member

    Chapter 4

    The loud clang of the iron bars that now serve as a constant reminder of my incarceration rang through the cell block. I stepped forth, onto the white line and the prison guards patted me down before I was allowed to leave my cell. After they were satisfied that I wasn't hiding a shiv, they let me ask for their permission to leave the cell.

    Today was the scheduled date for my first psychiatric evaluation. I was told I'd be asked a few questions about my background, what I did, why I did it and some other details. I would be subjected to a medical examination that could measure my heartrate, sweat rate and other indicators that could determine if I was lying or telling the truth.

    "Okay. Whatever. Its not like my consent matters, you'll do it anyways." I said.

    'Insolence will not be tolerated. This is your last warning." the guard nearest to me hissed.

    I was led to a room, all white everything, freshly painted walls, shiny ceramic tiles on the floor, bright, white halogen lamps on the ceiling. I sat in a white leather couch. It must have been new, judging from the fresh leather smell that emanated from it. I waited. The door opened, and an attractive lady walked in and took a seat at the table in front of me. And so we begin.

    Her hazel doe eyes looked up at me after she read my case file. I could get lost in those eyes, I secretly thought to myself.

    "Hello, my name's Dawn. What's yours?" her soft, soothing voice said.

    Irrelevant question, I thought to myself.

    "You already know me."

    "Stiggson, Daniel. Are you always this cold? Don't worry, I'm just here to help."

    I grunted, a passive, neutral response.

    This was going to be a long day..
  13. Zuriel

    Zuriel Well-Known Member

    Off to Australia for a holiday. Will be back on the 4th of July, aussie peeps who wanna meet up just let me know here. I'll check this space. :)

    I'll be in Sydney and Melbourne only.
  14. spartanhija

    spartanhija Member

    5 years of involuntarily mansluaghter of 3 ppl? I got 5 years for robbig a store, might want to add a little tine if u havent. I think manslaughter is 18 years or so.
    Also that was when i was a juvinile, if your char happens to be an adult its more time.
    But the setup is pretty nice. Didnt read, hes 24, but i like the story.
  15. spartanhija

    spartanhija Member

    Manslaughter, supposedly , in self defense supposedly 2-4 years, so looking at 6-12 as of california. Dont think ive ever seen anyone get that low out here. Out here mostly gangviolence though, that adds eeextra time.

    PADDYPOWER New Member

  17. spartanhija

    spartanhija Member

    lol,also the gaurds dont talk like that, 1/2 of them are just as ghetto as everyone else.
  18. Zuriel

    Zuriel Well-Known Member

    Thanks for your feedback, I guess since the event takes place in the distant future, we shall assume that education standards have improved and more people are able to speak better.
  19. spartanhija

    spartanhija Member

    Its a cool story, so im not trying to be an ass, just saying if its trying to be realistic. In the future manslaughter may be only 5 years at this rate, overcrowding of the penal system may leave space for hardened murderers only lol.
    Dont k.ow where the fk i got 5 years from, i ment distant future as well.
  20. Ryan III

    Ryan III Well-Known Member

Share This Page