Nicarco's Fan Fiction Thread.

Discussion in 'Universe' started by Nicarco, Feb 6, 2012.

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What should I do next?

Poll closed Feb 6, 2012.
  1. No one likes these stories stop writing Nic!

    17 vote(s)
    100.0%
  1. Nicarco
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    Nicarco Warden

  2. Shooz
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    Shooz NOTD Staff: Killjoy

    RE: Fan Fiction - The Origin of Apollo

    Amazing job! Please continue but, add into ech dialogue who said what. Take note from some books you may have read and add feeling to each quote by saying something like;

    "How?" General Koller inquired.

    "Helium - 3 is a strange substance, Mr. Koller... It is absolutely necessary for fusion, but at the same time, it is very rare. We intend to control it like we control uranium at the moment. And when that happens, we will make it wealth. The H-3 standard we will call it... and then, and then we will rule the world, and the governments will support us doing this! But Mr. Koller, enough questions. I will ask one to you now. Will you step with us to the future? Or will you be left in the past to rot?" The man replied with a grin on his face as he leaned in to General Koller.

    Those things will help your readers really get into the character's feelings and help them see your settings better as well.
  3. Nicarco
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    Nicarco Warden

    RE: Fan Fiction - The Origin of Apollo

    Like I said, 30 minute limit on this story, so I had to leave out some literary elements. Glad you like it though, I will continue this later on.
  4. Shooz
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    Shooz NOTD Staff: Killjoy

    RE: Fan Fiction - The Origin of Apollo

    Excellent, and glad to hear!
  5. Ramses II
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    Ramses II Help, I can't change my title!

    RE: Fan Fiction - The Origin of Apollo

    What? we don't exist? >(
  6. Nicarco
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    Nicarco Warden

    RE: Fan Fiction - The Origin of Apollo

    Okay guys, I have a little problem

    I'd like to edit the first post to post the next short story, but if I do that it won't be marked as unread, and therefore no one would read it.

    My solution is this:

    If anyone would like updates on when I post new stuff, reply to this thread saying so and I'll add you to my buddy list (who knew it existed?) and then I'll pm you when I post new stuff.

    The other problem is that because edit =/= reply, this thread won't get bumped so people won't find it.
    Solutions:
    I have to reply a lot
    or sticky it


    Either way, can someone change the title to Nicarco's Fan Fiction Thread pls?

    oh, and Thanks for reading!
  7. Shooz
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    Shooz NOTD Staff: Killjoy

    RE: Fan Fiction - The Origin of Apollo

    If you're going to work on one story at a time, we MIGHT be able to sticky it.

    On the other hand. You could just section off the updates and let everyone know that it will be updated regularly.

    I wouldnt have an issue reading it over if you were making corrections and refining the story. It would mean i get to see the evolution and grown of the story into great content.

    Try my second option and if you're feeling depressed about it. Perhaps we'll be able to work a crack deal with you. No promises.[hr]
    EDIT: Changed the name of the thread for you bud.
  8. Nicarco
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    Nicarco Warden

    RE: Fan Fiction - The Origin of Apollo

    Thanks Shooz. I'll try option 2 now

    Also:
    I would post this in the BO forum, except A: I can't access there, and B: Shooz will pwn me for being off topic. So here it is.

    Chapter 2: The Betrayal


    The following tape has been sent to you following a declassification of the contents to B level following the termination of the subject. DO NOT under any circumstances show this to anyone below the B level. Should you ever be captured with this tape, destroy it with the remote detonators included within your Black Ops compromise kit. Under no circumstances are you to reveal that you are a member of Black Operations, nor tell any non Black Operations member about the organization. Remember: We don't exist.

    Violators will be denied, disconnected and swiftly terminated. You have been warned.

    A transcription of the events in the video have been included. Read transcription if information is necessary but you are unable to view a video for whatever reason.

    TRANSCRIPTION

    It is a Lvl 3 security room with carpet and flags near the walls. Two windows are behind the large desk that sits in the middle. One occupant is behind desk with face and body in shadow. Identity of single occupant is Black Ops Commander ------------. The sunlight streams through the windows on the wall opposite the side of the desk, but the windows near the commander are curtained. Our Black Ops operative has planted the video camera in the top right corner of the room, or in the corner behind and to the left hand side of the Commander. A knock is heard on the door.

    "Come in!" The commander says. The door swings open to reveal a dishevelled Lt. Koller. He looks incredibly exhausted, as if the past few days have aged him years. Compared with the previous film from the last meeting, this is a man without a purpose in life.

    "I cannot do it anymore... I just can't do it" He says, walking slowly into the room. Upon closer examination this Operative notes several things unseen before. The clothing that he wears appears to be very expensive, but on closer examination they are damaged in many places, as if subjected to abuse that does not fit its beauty. He walks with a slight shuffling, as if he has not slept in many days. Thermal imaging shows his body temperature above normal, as if he had done extreme physical activity. The operative concludes from these observations two things: A, he has not slept or eaten well in at least a week, and B, he ran all the way down to the offices from somewhere.

    "What's wrong my old friend? I trust you found our new relationship rewarding?" The commander says, offering Koller a seat in which he almost immediately collapses.

    "Rewarding? Maybe at first... But then things started to happen. Bad things." Koller glares at the commander suspiciously when he says the last sentence, as if he is to blame for things past.

    "I officially assured you that these had nothing to do with our deal Mr. Koller."

    "But you admit that they have occurred!" Koller blurts out the sentence. "You admit that these things, these 'accidents' are not really accidents!"

    "I admit nothing. But, I will not put it out of the realm of possibility that, unofficially, these things could have happened due to a few mistakes on your part."

    "Mistakes!? Mistake then, was it, when my wife and child died? Mistake then, when my whole team died and I was conveiently left alive? Mistake that this all started when I signed onto that Apollo deal? Are you going to tell me this is all mistake?" Lt. Koller stands up and puts his hands on the table, clearly agitated. The commander showed no visible reaction.

    "Remember the last time we were here, Mr. Koller? Remember when I promised I could bring you into the future? Well this is the future Mr. Koller. But you are an old man at heart. That will not do..." The commander's voice suddenly turned cold as ice.

    "Wait, what do you mean?"

    "Remember when we talked about wealth? Let me teach you something new today. Governments are notoriously difficult to run openly. There is always a few tricks that no one knows but suspects about us. For the UGC, that would mean the Bla-"

    "No, I beg you! Do not mention them where they can hear!" Koller's voice is almost pleading now.

    "But let us not talk about them. We're here to talk about you. It is my impression that you have outlived your usefulness, Mr. Koller." The commander's voice sparked with sudden anger.

    "Remember the old times? Remember how you promised me my future will be with UGC?"

    "I still mean it, Mr. Koller. But you are mistaken in thinking that you have a part in your future. See, there is one thing you need to know. Your son lives."

    "What? How could you hold this informa-"

    "The same way you have not told anyone about your Black Ops, Mr. Koller. But back to the business at hand. Your son will succeed where you have failed. He will make a good general some day. You will not. Take him." With the last sentence, he stood up and gestured at the Lt. The Black Ops members who were listening came in and seized Lt. Koller by the arms. They started to drag him when suddenly the commander motioned him to stop.

    "Let me tell you another lesson, Mr. Koller, before we part. There is no free lunch. Everyone will pay eventually. I know I have paid much for where I am today. Now you must pay."

    Without a word Lt. Koller was dragged off, never to be seen again.

    "Glad that is taken care of. Now, get the UGC commander on the phone. Notify him that Project Shadow can now proceed with no obstructions."

    END OF TRANSCRIPTION
  9. Ramses II
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    Ramses II Help, I can't change my title!

    *grabs Lt. Koller*
    *uses stolen recon device to cloak self and Koller*
    *ceases to exist once more*
  10. Nicarco
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    Nicarco Warden

    All right, cause Ozy/Ramses/You requested it, I give you this:

    A short story about Black Ops and a new foe (I'll leave it up to you to decide what Ozy wanted me to write about, or you could just check my reputation list, and perhaps add to it too :p):

    The following is for Level 5 and above Black Ops members only. The file contains sensitive information that cannot be shown to any others, including other Black Ops members. This is for your eyes only. Use it, arm yourself against the threat outlined within, but do not attempt to seek them out. Remember, do not spread any information about what is within, nor about the Black Ops. You have been warned.

    Unknown location

    Two men stand on a cliff overlooking a dark sea. Glancing down at the seemingly impenetrable depths of the sea, they open a small device with the words "Black Ops Level 5 directive: For Your Eyes Only".

    "So this is really where it is then? You sure you haven't got the wrong place?" One of them said sceptically."

    "Black Ops information is never wrong. I am never wrong. This is indeed the place." The other replied.

    The two equipped grapple devices and slowly descended the cliff. They were never seen again.

    Moscow, UGC energy conference

    The man savored the anticipation before the kill. He knew his target, he knew his weapon, a customized silenced gauss pistol, he knew who was paying him large sums of money to kill the target. More importantly, he knew what would happen if the target died now, died before he could say something ground breaking. And it will all happen because of him.

    Five minutes before the target was supposed to take the stage, he went to the bathroom. He never came out from there alive.

    Black Ops Commander Office

    "I am telling you, these events are not because of coincidence!" The commander said to the members assembled. "I tell you, we have never had so many operations failed! We never had any operations failed! Another group is behind this!"

    "So tell me, is that why you have called us here? To give us some pathetic excuse why we shouldn't withdraw your funding? The Shadow Mercenaries are finished, and I intend for that to happen now."
    "No! Just give me one more chance! Look, I'll make it up to you." The commander goes into the back room. He does not come out alive. The police go into the back room to find him dead, a suicide, and a note, a note signed by him that says that he now transfers all of his Black Ops to the army, under the command of General Koller.




    "These cases are incidents marked as Level 5 priority, and indicate the presence of an organization seemingly beyond our control. For 10 years we have operated under the utmost secrecy, and there is no competition on the market. Now there is, and we have become obsolete.

    What do we know about the organization? Not much at the moment. We know that they identify themselves using the initials PO. We know they have extraordinary powers over the mind, their own mind and others. They possess the ability to warp reality, slow down time, and become invisible. In other words, they are superhuman. We have no way of dealing with them at the present, apart from being educated about their presence. They appear to strike high profile Black Ops cases, but despite our best efforts to conceal them, they still know.

    If you are currently on a high profile case, all I can offer you is: Good Luck. You'll need it."

    END TRANSMISSION
  11. Shooz
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    Shooz NOTD Staff: Killjoy

    AWESOME! MOAR NICARCO! MORE!!!
  12. Ramses II
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    Ramses II Help, I can't change my title!

    like it i did. want more i do. yoda am i? no. i am You.
  13. Nicarco
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    Nicarco Warden

    Sorry guys, gotta wait until tomorrow before I can post more, I have to limit myself to one story a day so that I can actually finish my work. :p
  14. Nicarco
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    Nicarco Warden

    Ok, now that I'm finished the prologue of the story, it is time to
    CHOOSE YOUR ADVENTURE!!!!!!!

    Yes, you read that right! I'm going to let the community decide what happens to the main character of the story. I'm going to write a small section of the story, and then leave it up to you to decide what to do next. The decision will be by popular vote.
    (Also, I'll add all the story sections to the first post later today)
    And now, without further ado, time to start!


    Chapter 1: City 13

    "Welcome to City 13, the newest and best of the UGC resettlement locations constructed within Europe. Here, I have also chosen to construct the Citadel, an everlasting dedication to mankind's progress, hand in hand with the UGC. I hope you enjoy your stay."
    Dr. Green's voice was easily audible in the packed prison train that it broadcasted to. Dr. Green was the current leader of public relations at UGC, and his voice and figure was much more recognizable than the real leaders behind it. It was hard to see if his words were meant to have any effect upon the people, for the ones who were "converted" believed anything that was said from the UGC and the ones who weren't didn't mind what he said anyway.

    The prisoners stirred, seeing that the train was pulling into the station. Perhaps train was not the right word. Gone are the train tracks, gone are the whistles and the steam that made trains so impressionable in our childhoods. Instead, there was a sleek, tall, dangerous looking vehicle, the standard for all vehicles in modern day earth.

    But one prisoner interests us above all, a thin man seated at the end of the train. At first glance, it may seem like he is completely harmless, but the 3 extra guards, trying to look as if they casually got that close to him, tell otherwise. A tag on the front of his blue prison clothes showed his identification number: Prisoner 247. He alone looked like a man caught in the wrong world, but he isn't frightened of his sorroundings as such men usually are. Instead, he looked like he was calmly sleeping, and even the shaking of chains near him from the other prisoners did not wake him from sleep.

    He wasn't sleeping. He was observing.

    For he was one of the rare few people born into the world awakened, one of the few people who have extraordinary powers of the mind. Most people receive things with their brain, he can transmit as well. At this very moment he is looking through the minds of the prisoners around him, sensing the anticipation that accompanies the end of a long journey. He saw constructed in his mind the station, he saw the three prison guards around him, and sensed their hostility towards him, suspecting that they were told that he was an extremely dangerous and profane criminal.

    The real reason he was there was stranger still. He was there to be forcibly inducted into the Black Operations Team based in City 13.

    The prisoners lined up single file into the processing station near the exit of the train station. It was a simple inspection station, designed so that no smugglers could come into the city, though the unspoken truth was that the real purpose was to prevent people from going out. Civilian Officers manned the desk, their voices distorted beyond recognition by the robotic voice scrambles included in their helmets.

    "Next!" The person at the gate called, and prisoner 247 was ushered forwards. He knew that now was the time, now it had come at last. He had known that ever since he was caught 3 months ago by a group of elite soldiers masquerading as a civil inspection team. Sure enough, as soon as the officer glanced down at the list, he motioned the prisoner through a side entrance.

    Prisoner 247 walked down the deserted lane away from the crowd of other prisoners. Reaching the end of the gate, he turned into another police station. This time, it was to screen people going out. "New Prospects Railway" was labelled above the exit door.

    "Prisoner 247!" A robotic voice startled him out of his thoughts. A door from the building had opened, and a civil police officer came out, beckoning to him. "This way!" He said.

    Prisoner 247 followed him down the long hallway to the end of the building, an interrogation room. The civil police officer closed the door and locked it. He also went over to the computer screen and said "Going to need some privacy here doc." The cameras within the room withdrew. Prisoner 247 felt a sense of dread. It was coming, he knew it.

    But he was not prepared for what happened next. The civil police officer took off his helmet, revealing -

    "You're a woman?! But I thought..."

    "Shh... They might still hear us. Now listen. I know of your predicament, and it is in the interest of our organization that you sign up with us instead."

    She paused, then went over to the back door and opened it. The noon sun came streaming in, displaying a back alley.

    "I am giving you a choice right now. You can either go back to Nova Prospect, become what they want you to become. Or you can sign up with us, we will show you the true limits of your psionic powers."

    "How did you know that-?" Prisoner 247 said in astonishment.

    "Trust me, it is my job to seek out new members after all. Now, decide. If you wish to take your chances with the Black Ops, go back, no one will stop you. However, I must warn you that the conversion process is by no means pleasant. On the other hand, if you decide to join us, go through this door, and to the building at the end of the alley across the tracks. Our path carries its own risks, but you will have choice."

    So guys, which path will prisoner 247 choose? Shall he choose the good path (at least for the city and its corrupt UGC leaders)? Or will he follow the mysterious woman and unlock the truth behind his psionic powers?

    Reply with your vote pls.
  15. Nicarco
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    Nicarco Warden

    Ok guys, finished the next section.
    Now, the time has come for a vote.
    Read the section, then reply with your vote.
    Voting ends tomorrow!
  16. Arturia

    Arturia Well-Known Member

    Personally, I would vote He enters Black Ops, just because there is hardly any Fan-Fic, and BO is the most unknown part of the game, hence, not only will it be entertaining to see how you play with BO, it may even create a bit more of a back-story to BO.
  17. Nicarco
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    Nicarco Warden

    No problem, I wasn't biased towards any choice myself, but I'll let the community decide which way he goes.
  18. Arturia

    Arturia Well-Known Member

    How do we vote though? I don't see a place to vote D:

    My Vote is on him declining her offer.
  19. Nicarco
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    Nicarco Warden

    I need to ask a moderator on how to change the poll of threads, if it is possible.

    Rest assured people, I'll make the guy "good" no matter what path you choose, joining the black ops does not mean he's allied with the groups that attempts to kill the security teams at Apollo.
  20. KatsuraJun

    KatsuraJun New Member

    I too vote the same. There's just not enough fluff on the bops. The wiki has painfully little information on them, and at first I even thought that Koller was the one who sent them to kill us in EC, and that he was secretly evil or something. Unless we get to learn more about the bops with the other path as well.

    Also, if you are planning into turning this into a CYOA (Choose your own Adventure, which, in my opinion would be awesome.), it might be easier to bullet out our options rather than create a poll, perhaps with a dialogue option at the end of your posts. Like:

    - "I'll have to decline your offer."
    - Yeahidk.

    Just a suggestion. You could tally the votes up after a certain deadline.

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